I can not wait to finish off all of these arts I owe so many OvO I have over 70 pieces of art to make. Yikes! I've heard many artists say having a backlog of art owed is one of the worst situations you can find yourself in as an artist. Heh. They ain't lying! Many of these arts are several years old now, if the people that asked for them even remember... And while there have been times I've become so overwhelmed by it all that I've fallen under the weight and hit many low points emotionally and mentally from them, I think I am okay with them now. I don't feel so negative about them anymore.
I made a mistake and bit off more than I can chew. I was several years younger when I started all of this. And I got carried away in offering my ability to others... It happens. We can't all be perfect or know better. But despite all the trouble these past few years this has caused me, I've learned for the better and I know not to take on too much in the future once this is all over.
There have been times I've wanted to just tell everyone to find someone else for art or that I wanted to drop them since the amount of work I put on myself was sorely affecting my mental health. Times where I've wanted to just run off like I do and disappear long enough that people forgot about me. Change my username on those art sites AGAIN... though people I'm sure would find me and recognize my style x)
.... I hide a lot when I'm presented with situations I'm in over my head with. Or situations I'm just too stubborn to actually fix even when I know I could fix them easily. It's an awful habit of mine. Not committing. And well, if I wanna be a real artist and a good one, I have to stop running away. Stop making promises I don't intend to keep. I made these people a promise and was the one that offered and accepted their requests. And I must honor them and just DO everything I said I was going to do.
I'm sure people would respect me more and respect my art more. And I'd feel much better about myself. I may not be a great artist or one people should look up to hahah I've done so much wrong and shameful things when it comes to art oh god. There was a time a lot of people hated and disliked me for some of the things I've done. But hey, like I said. I am not perfect. And not all of us do things the good and right way at first. Some of us have played the bad guy (lol I be a villain) but I am working towards redemption and working towards being a better artist and better person. At least I can show people what NOT to do xD So in a way, I guess I do guide people... I guess OvO
But yes. I'm not afraid of this art list of DOOM I have anymore. I am ready to get through this now. As I always say, one should always strive to improve in all facets of their life ~